Sometimes, i think about shit that make me piss off. Like.. why do i care so much? why out of all them, you? why you? And i start to push everything away. I force myself not to feel, force myself to pretend. I've learn to better myself to act like as if, it didn't hurt, it didn't matter. The magic word is "Get use to it".. it's deadly but it made me the person i am today. I tolerate, over and over again. I shut myself out, time and time again. People around me, won't understand. And here i am, having hard time trying to open up.

I really wish, those whom i cared a lot would listen to me. I know what it's like, how fucked up it can be, there for i'm trying to be there for them, all i want is to see them smile and be happy.. I'm already as fucked as possible to wear, i'm tired of even trying. And people around me cry over shit that even doesn't matter. I wish i could tell you how heart broken when you lost something so precious, you'll never get them back.

I no longer want to care, i no longer will wanna give a fuck about it anymore. Its your life to control, not mine. They say time heals, everyone learn. I hope this will turn out good cause, i'm done, so done with everyone. I feel like i'm living in their past.. I want to move on, and not give a fuck. It doesn't matter anymore. At least to me. I'm no longer me, always trying and trying. No. i won't be that kind of person anymore, i'm laying myself down, taking everything slow, whatever goes, i'll keep on taking. Be it good or bad. I'll take everything and see what it'll bring me, what it'll lead me to.

So you can go and fuck yourself and be a sad piece of shit